Inevitably, on the popular Omega-to-Alpha spectrum, it seems that every Gamma male deems himself a Sigma sooner or later. Perhaps the allure of soothing a wounded ego is simply too great for some men to avoid crowning themselves as the King No One Ever Wanted. Or maybe they honestly have a bad case of the “fake it until you make it” sickness. Either way, it proves that, somewhere in their weird brains, they hate themselves as much as everyone else hates them and desire change, however unrealistic.
But oddly, maybe because of the Gamma habit of incorrectly typing themselves at the top of the totem pole, Sigma’s themselves appear to attract them like a comically irritating gaggle of groupies. We might guess that by being squashed by a Sigma, Gammas somehow derive some sort of pleasure. Perhaps it’s a perverted sense of living vicariously, who knows really?
Still, this strange symbiosis, for lack of a better term, makes for a good study in how to avoid ending up like a Gamma. From the infamous Sigma, check Vox Day’s blog this past week regarding a Gamma beat down….
There it is. The Gamma always has to make everything about you and him. It’s ALWAYS personal, no matter how little the subject has to do with either of you. And he ALWAYS speaks from a position of nonexistent authority that no one granted him, but that he assumes because he is a Smart Boy.
It’s all right there: The Wall of Text. The Unrequested Explanation. The Self-Justification. The Litany of Your Failures. The Feigned Indifference. The Flounce. The Condemnation.
Predictably, this is how Gamma’s deal with even a minor rejection, with the aplomb of a bratty teenage girl who’s been told she can’t stay out late tonight. You have to wonder, if they can’t handle a random stranger on the internet declining to deal with them, how much worse do they act when they face real adversity or the true, hardest rejections that life brings? But you didn’t have to guess here: the Sigma response stands in stark contrast to the Gamma’s.
What accounts for the difference and what can you learn from all this if you have a bit of a Gamma streak in you?
The smaller lesson here is that you’re unlikely to go from near the bottom of the totem pole to the top. Really, that should be obvious to most people. Compare how weaker men, like our Gamma in the description above, respond to life and how more elevated men, the Alpha or Sigma, handle their affairs. How likely is it really that if you suffer from Gamma, you’ll make such a jump, from the lowest to the highest, overnight? Or by simply deeming yourself an Alpha and nothing else? No, obviously it’s better to go for Delta, since it requires less of a leap and is far more realistic to attain before you set your eyes higher.
But what’s the single easiest step you can take to level up? Eliminating the one thing causing all the Gamma’s problems.
Meaning, accept rejection as part of life… that’s it.
Although there are other differences in the male hierarchy, the Gamma’s problem almost exclusively stems from his inability to admit his own failure or come to terms with being rejected. He always takes it personally, and so, he always concocts a range of strategies to deny it or hide it, even from himself. Sometimes, he announces, without proof, that he’s actually the smartest person in the room… and that’s why everyone hates him. Other times, he writes out extremely long, frequently ridiculous texts or emails explaining more than you every wanted to know… even when you tell him you don’t read any of these.
But if you’re looking to leave Gamma behind, you need only accept it when someone definitively rejects you. After all, it’s their damn choice in the first place. If they want to reject you, you have no control over it. Forget explaining it away. And don’t pretend not to care when it’s blatant that you do, if you’re a Gamma. And most importantly, for the love of God, shut up for a moment. If you’re a Gamma, stop telling yourself whatever story is spinning around in your head. And instead, use moments of failure and rejection to gain perspective for why you’ve ended up where you are with the situation.
In that answer, you’ll find the seed of your own improvement, if you wish to take it.
Lastly, how do you know when you’ve graduated Gamma yourself? There’s an easy answer… when you finally encounter another Gamma in the wild, and you wonder, WTF! To you, their way of thinking and acting has simply become an oddity.
Oh, and you’ve probably moved on from Gamma when you stop dreaming of being the Sigma that everyone else knows you’re not.